5th Floor ward Viewing the moon light

Shinning glimpse of sound

on this locked up night

bringing insanity to this world

one more time that keeps me free

for billions of years

deeply in need for love

father then worry and hate

making changes with my star friends

keeping eternity far away from this earth

no longer do we need to sleep

it's business night

to keep the beast locked up

view of a harbor nights

lost souls and spirits

come to me come to me

so we can break through

the insanity to die or sleep

It's all work and no play for us

as we need to keep


I quit for now on this song! During my stay at this iteration, I remember being blow up and everyone I knew was gone, and I was able to see and hear and feel, it was strange and I was in a star, and God created it all again, and that's why I cry when I read Genesis in the bible.



January 9th, 2008 "Strange Bill Dream"

Well, I was in a bar, I took an elevator too, no smoking and no alcohol at first, then it was a strange beer served by a 1700 looking dude like a costume party, the person resembled like George Washington. I was upset because I was with people who didn't smoke so I smoked in a bathroom then I saw flashing light. People where different, kind of like when the Doors program get's to me from the future to protect what I see in my iterations. It feels like nothing, and I opened up a beer, and drank it pissed off because of prohibition again. Pissed off at my uncle who created this shity dream.

I started dreaming this shit when I climbed into my bed room after watching and passing out of "Cheech and Chong next movie" where my kids woke up and I quickly removed the items that the kids should never see. maybe my Uncle Bills Sole is protecting me like I wanted in my Baby Step Bible.

I went to get a smoke, and it tasted nasty like maybe Uranium lasted smoke, as I was still in the doors. (Kind of like the matrix but better) used for iterations to sync since I have a problem in sleep.


January 10th, 2008 " another dream"

Well this time I didn't want to sleep in my bed because of the horrified nightmares so I slept in front of the TV, and I got another one with Greg Cohee, his house being taken, his dad dead, and his brothers and his mother somewhere else, this is weird because I don't know if they sold my old friends house or anything. He was a good friend but killed at a party when someone threw him over a three story building.


January 15th, 2008 "Waiting for rent"


Monday is the place to be

Living in a beach across the

Ocean Stars

Centering on our universe

making choices for everything

no time limit

waiting for spirits

I sleep tonight

Come on let's get to the moon

Let's get to Mars

Let's get out of here before

we all sleep forever





January 16th, 2008 "vivid nightmare"

I couldn't get to sleep last night because I slept during the day with depression of writing a check for $1000 for a lawyer. Watching my money go by by. But last night or early this morning between 3 AM to 7AM I slept and kind of puked, I didn't drink last night, it was something the doors did and I woke up as a marine. The suffering of a marine, in Viet Nam. Charlie was being a bitch in a what appeared and felt like worse then prison. They put marines all naked and where force to shit on each other like pigs. Until they figured out something that worked to make machines with human suffering. I asked my wife to wake me up around 10 AM and she did, with love.



January 18th, 2008 Friday "Dream of three and a fourth planet and then iterations negative and positive for reincarnation, and the fancy stuff"

I fell asleep with my wife, my son climbed into our bed estimated around the nightmarish stuff happened.


I was in a cell, this time, my dick was big or just normal size, and their was woman that looked just like Angie, but the food was tasted funny. We were naked in front of chaos, people were playing games, like cutting flesh that hurt and watching it grow back magically. But the people did that, blew up and died with in about five days. Their was contaminated water and real water, we liked the contaminated water with our smokes after sex in front of an audience. Ships that needed Uranium 235 and PU249 used our waste and love. CEPIII I love you too buddy, but how much of this dream do I need to make work for the three planets?

3:26 AM

I had a dream, and every time I cried for others sorrow and empathy bombs blew up, nasty megaton shit. After I saw recantation work and fail in my shitter, Martin Luther King Jr talked to me and thanked me and said it was an Honor to have a medium so well disciplined like me, and took off after my Grandfather wiped my ass.

And they both where crying.

The creator of CEPIII, need to come up with a way to hold contamination and no longer have salty water, but fresh clean H20 no heavy water with deuterium and also, the moon, it's not a good place to be unless we figure out HE3. 3:30 AM

I need a Geiger counter for my family so I can find if it's ok to go back up stairs and love my son and kid and sleep again.

Also, for people that smoke cigarette, they take bad shit that needs to be fixed, if it is done by .5's (Green Aliens) they have to fix it before you die or loose their lives and family and die painfully. Those doctors who examined the bodies all died of radioactive decay slowly and never had kids, that's how fucking serious I am and what I know of the truth tonight, 3:34 AM.

Marines and Gamers.

King 2 and King3, and King 1 is me, making a marriage work by myself and get out of debt and live a life worthy to live like a King with my own left and right brain, as naturally as possible.

King 4 to affinity is up to cepIII back to King 4.

I remember being with my wife in this dream, floating in the ocean taking a nuclear bomb and sucking all the pain they contain and watching them die. I remember seeing the 3.5 and .5's cleaning and the stolen equipment was done by government and Criss Angel and my cousin Ryan and they didn't know how to navigate so it's a good thing because they didn't believe in God, they believed in Satan, and I locked the Universe which are many. 3:40Am

Someone asked me in my mind if their is a future for Brad, and their is after 2008. We have a backup plan, we all become computers silicon. Brad will go to my son as a medium, that is if that bad shit happens this year.

A heart of gold for all my knights and my self, and my kings. 3:45 AM

hearts of gold can pump blood and clean it as it goes through but CEPIII has it and wants a better equipment. 3:51 AM

So I drank a beer for my grandpa, he doesn't like Budweiser, wants me to buy Whiskey.

Any how, Helium 3 is amp full fuel for the moon, but if we land their make a tent their with an open flap on the ground, bad shit would enter your lungs, and that is HE3, then your blood, and birth defect would happen. So a creator polished would be a better spot to dream about.


January 26th, 2008 Sunday "a breakable chuck dream"

I woke up at 8 AM the kids and my wife were sleeping in their beds, and Lola, my bitch was sleeping with me. I felt pain in my teeth, the dream was me only and my mother in a house, and me building a tree house, and I was older then I am now, and she was afraid to take me to the hospital because of the fear of hospitals and how the mistreated me and put me in a psychotic ward instead of healing the problems, and this case it was my teeth and jaw, so my mother, and then my sister fed me but parts of my jaw were missing. The house I built was my home because I was broke.


February 3rd, 2008 Sunday "Lego land"

I had a dream about being in Lego land, strange one. I might have been feeding on my son's dreams. Liam has a game in the DS Nintendo called Star Wars Lego land. Pretty firkin weird.


February 4, 2008 Monday “Court Date”

Well, I had another weird dream, this one was with the house in Juno Street, It was freaky, everyone was dieing, I had like a Dragon fallowing me, and I was injected with pills in my ass.  One of those pills was a silver color and the others were like normal pill color, I ate the silver one which was PU249, and woke up.  People were making small nukes in the dream.  I woke up, went downstairs and noticed that my wife didn’t turn off the heater, and we missed a call from Elf.


Suo Gan - version edited by Charles Packard 1-27-07

To my child surrender
Warm and tender is my chest
Father's arms with love caressing
Lay their blessing on your rest
Nothing shall tonight alarm you
None shall harm you, have no fear
Lie contented, calmly slumber
On your father's chest,my dear

Here tonight I tightly hold you
And Sleep in peace tonight
I wonder why are you smiling
Smiling in your slumber deep?
Are the angels on you smiling
And beguiling you with charm
While you also smile, my blossom
In my chest soft and warm?  

Have no fear now, leaves are knocking
Gently knocking at our door
Have no fear now, waves are beating
Gently beating on the shore
Sleep, my darling, none shall harm you
Nor alarm you, never cry
In my deep heart sweetly smiling
And deluding those on high 


February 10th, 2008 Sunday "Dream of expeditors building"

I was in deep sleep mode when my kids woke me up and I went to my own bedroom where my wife was sleeping on Saturday. It must have been about 8 AM that I was awakened and I didn't cuss or do anything, but try to get back to sleep. The nightmare was me trying to figure out a problem in a server room, and building was changed. It was strange, I remembered a little of the people but got lost in the building just like I did after during my stroke. There was a server room but it was split between another company renting space, and the hole was me getting trapped with my cloths on and a slide of hell, of people beating each other up like a wrestling or boxing match. I wanted to get out because I wanted to get with my family again.


February 13th, 2008 Wednesday "Camping"

This dream I woke up just after I made a mistake inside my mind about being a leader of camping after a holocaust of nuclear weapons. I pushed to hard and a family lost their father who was trying to move as quick as I move my mind. In this dream, I experienced about 10,000 people moving in campers and cars and trucks with no food because people hoarded the food and then shots were flying and the government was gone. We were moving quicker then the fallout, and I woke up at 8:30 AM with my heart beating to this noise of radioactivity.


February 19th, 2008 Tuesday "Anniversary from stroke dreams"

I forgot the dream that I awoke upon on, at 6 ish in the morning, and then I went back to bed and woke up at 12 PM and forgot that too.


 February 20th, Wednesday 2008 "Retail nightmare"

So I was in store, a big store and was confused of my job.

12:51 PM And I went back to sleep to dream (My personal movie box or head) and dreamed about going to school a big campus and trying to find my classes and trying to get to the administration building.


February 21st, Thursday 2008 "An Organ that I dreamed about"

This dream is strange, I woke up and went to my War Room in this dream, drank something that was hot and it was probably radiactive, and then went to the bathroom and puked an Organ that looked like something that my wife makes, a pot sticker. Then I had a weird program and no paper so I used the old paper of my book to print it out, someone was in my back yard and my mother was in the house saying everthing will be ok, and I showed her my organ and she freaked and same with her boy friend Jay. Then I saw some stocks in my room 1,555 shares of EXPD, and the market was closed due to dirty bomb. And this fucking nightmare, before that nightmare I had a night mare of Jasson Bakers brother giving me crack and me getting high on this multipe crack pipe thing, and I cleaned up and the nasty taste and all was gone, my house, my kid, my car, everthing. Then I was mising a tooth and I was at my Fathers house and my sister and father didn't like me. And I woke up! at 7:30 AM

Before that dream too, when i woke up at 6 AM it was too much to remember


 February 22nd Friday 2008 "Waves of nightmares"

This sleeping and over sleeping is getting to me, I watched the Gangters episode on the History Channel, and I think the souls I talk to are gangbangers, but I don't know. I kept waking up with strange dream of someone getting their hands cut off. And lot's of blood.


February 24th Sunday "To many nightmares"

I woke up at 4 AM and forgot my nightmare, went to bed and woke around 9 AM and had a nightmare about a woman in college who was addicted two something in a water bottle. I accidentally put smokes in this nightmare and owed here $80 bucks. This was a strange one.

Then I went back to sleep and woke up around 11:30 AM with a stranger nightmare, about being late and loosing the kids from the bus and trying to find them without a legal licence buy my car and getting pulled over without my kids. It was very real and strange nightmare. Then their was a fuck head caring cocaine and trashing my house and me trying to get him out of my property by bashing his body into the walls. But Cocaine makes people stronger and the cops came and took me away and left the person who was not a invitation go with the cocaine in his pocket.

God Damn this nightmares. I'm going back to bed again to see what I can for see in the future.


February 25th, Monday "WWIII Nightmare"

I was battling the Chinese and the war was over, but the mess was everywhere, I was playing baseball very crappy and I held the American Flag on a post and a Chinese were celebrating but had know idea what they were saying and they took the American Flag from me, and were going to take all the other equipment from me too, as all the American's took off from the game and left me alone.


February 28th, Thursday "The lake"

I was in a lake somewhere, but I was sleeping in the very hot day. Someone had a boat that I was camping with and the kids where playing in the lake. Nuclear bombs where going off in the cities in the radio repors and then it was gone, and everyone who is an adult was scarred to death, but my kids and others where not. Most of the people took off to catch fish in the morning in this nightmare, and me I woke up. It's 12:41 PM and my wife is very sick and same with me. I can't eat anything, so I'm probably going back to bed or watch TV, this nightmare is weird.


March 1st, 2008 Saturday"More on Seattle"

This dream is different, no nukes I think, Burien Bark dropped some flyers over my house, and I told my neighbor in this dream, watch the sky , and they be light. They were amazed. Then I woke up, and went back to sleep. Then I remember from my kind of nightmare, that I was very upset about Seattle and Washington and had a key in my head and I just left and walked away. People where killing each other. I was in a Doors. A program like the movie the Matrix, but better. The Doors of reality. I woke up, and it's kind of weird, as I think I'm in the program with the entire planet.


March 4th, 2008 Tuesday "lost on a bike"

I remember before waking up at 12:08 PM checkpoints, and snow, and trying to get home to my kids that are older. The highway was strange and I was lost in a motorcycle in the snow.


  March 5th 2008 Wednesday "Lost on a lake"

I was in a nightmare mode before my wife wanted to have sex with me this morning, I was lost in a lake the same one I had a few nightmares go. My dad was going fishing and he caught something, a Seal, but it's a freshwater lake the boat almost sank and he lost his shot gun in this nightmare, and was pissed off at me because I started the engine, then a eclipse.


March 6th 2008 Thursday "Radiation teeth"

I moved myself into my bed, but I had a nightmare of watching my teeth falling off when I slept in this dream of sleeping. My teeth were bloody and the smell of bitter radiation poisoning. My buddy Greg was running a motorcycle in a park or woods area. This nightmare was strange. maybe the spirit world came to my house to play.


March 11th 2008 Tuesday

A01 dream of a main frame at Expeditors.

A mortgage somewhere in my name in a hole because the house was demolished.

 I5 with a small car, getting lost and beat up with a bum.


March 16th, 2008 Sunday " to many nightmares"

I woke up this morning with my lips chapped with skin at 12:40 PM. Jim Morison was in my dream and spirits upon my nightmare of being. Yea I'm still sick but I have to go to my PO Officer tomorrow in Poulsbo. Yukiko must drive as I can't.

Nightmare stuff I was going to write is gone. This is recalling my reality.


March 18th, 2008 Tuesday "Nightmare of work"

SYSGEN and IOCONFIG was fucking with me on a machine that was old and rusty. Then I woke up. I hate nightmares. This is no joke, I gave it all to HP 3000s.


March 21st, 2008 Friday "Danny Z"

My nightmare was about me being trapped by Danny Zeufeldt in crack land. All I wanted was a blow and my car fixed, it was fucking strange. I didn't want to write this down but I had too because it's my program. I woke up at 2:20 PM today and I am feeling still sick. I remember my teeth were here but not in my dream, it was strange my teeth were missing from the buttom ones.


March 22nd, 2008 Saturday "nightmare of crack"

I was helping a friend to build a garage and I was addicted to crack. This was a weird dream, one that I want to go back to sleep, it's 12:50 PM. I want to find out why I was addicted to this substance that I went to Valley General to get rid of it. I think a fuck head named Danny Z is haunting me.


March 24th 2008 Monday "Greg's old home"

Well, I lost my eering so I'm wering to bed, my Cross. I guess I dreamnt about me riding a bycle to old Greg's house and finding out that the house belong to his brothers and they fucked it up. There were strange people inside the house, and saw Chris, one of Greg's brothers. We talked about shit and I'm sick inside this dream so I woke up caughing and gaging yellow flim. Greg after I woke up, wanted me to edit my Bible and get rid of him so I can be recarnated.

Writing is strange. Once you start, you can't stop I found. And Greg today wants to be nolonger part of my plans with God.


March 25th, 2008 Tuesday "North Korea egg hunt"

This strange dream with me and my family lost in North Korea, and amusement park. It was very strange the food.


March 30th, 2008 Sunday "Strange nightmare dream, at work experience"

It was a strange dream, I was in a job with some weird fucking HP3000 system and it was broken and I had to fix it, then Yukiko woke me up, and I tried to get back to the dream to see what happened but drugs were destroying me, and then I woke up and took my medicine.

This nightmare is strange.


April 4th 2008 Friday "another amuzemnt dream"

Trapped in Disneyland again, but this was bigger and a vacation with my aunt, then also a tree which was Craig which he lost my money. This is weird, I want to go back to bed. I did, and it was the same dream over, like God as telling me something. I need to play with my kids or something liket that, and not worry about the past.


April 5th 2008 Saturday "Connection City" 8:28 AM

It was real, I think a place called Connection City. I was with a differnet woman, an american woman and I had long hair. Or the hair I use to have before I cut it off. People where lost but in a dream called connectioin City.


April 6th 2008 Sunday "Lost in ship wreck"

This dream was stranger then most, I was with a native lady getting information about our convoy. I'm related to Clark I forgot his first name, maybe it's dream from the past of some poor soul on this trip.


April 8th, 2008 Tuesday "Millitary"

I was in training. Then in war between the united states and iteself.


April 9th, 2008 Wedneday "Two dream special"

I forgot the first one, but the second one after self fornication was special. I was in a house with two electric cars and the house was malfunction. I was with another woman, very cute.


April 14th, 2008 Monday "Marriage"

This dream was very sweet and I was on a boat searching for my keys. Crab fishing but the crab were gone. And the water was gone and their was me and a woman in my boat. Searching for keys.


April 29th, 2008 Tuesday "Nuklear forth July"

I was helping setup fireworks and I got burned and insurance never paid for me, and the money fell off the car window.


May 1st, 2008 Thursday "Falling teeth"

My teeth were falling out of my mouth because of the radiation, my kids where taken and I was sentenced to hell, were radiation spills the milk, in this very strange nightmare dream.


May 10th, 2008 Saturady 4:20 PM

I just woke up from a dream, I was in a jeep packaging a computer or a robot that was me. I was in Mexico looking also for pot.


May 12th, 2008 Monday 1:22 PM

Well I had a dream this time it was very strange, I was in a computer server room and had to deal with people at Expeditors. Someone wanted to share a Disney server and then I woke up.


May 15th, 2008 Thursday 12:42 PM

Well this dream was weird like all my strange dreams, I woke up in the middle of the dream and ate my medicine. I was camping buy a river and I left the camping and had my keys with me but left people including my wife and kids and noticed and before I woke up I noticed that the lake or river was bigger and ingulfed my truck and camping area, and my truck was not fucked up I guess and it started after the water came back to normal. This was a strange fucking dream, and I have no idea what it means.

Guess I should take a shower today and shave and leave somewhere with my truck. which is full of shit in the back. or not.


May 16th, 2008 Friday 2:05 PM

Two weird dreams, me at my old friends house Greg Cohee and it all being fucked up and how Greg didn't like his mother and father, it's strange dream as Greg is dead.

2nd Dream was me trying to find my dad and getting lost on Widbey Island, and seeing the old Grandpas house, and then being connected to some strange fucking car and being chassed by Hunter S Thompson. Strange fucking shit happened and then I heard my wife in the room having fun with a toy.


May 18th, 2008 Sunday 1:36 PM

I was water sking with my dad's boat, but we had a contraption on his boat and lifejack to fly, but then I woke up just before I hit in the sky, wires, lots of juice.


May 21st, 2008 Wedesday 3:08 PM

It was a strange dream today after I woke up at 3PM wasting the day. I'm getting use to wasting the day because I can't smoke pot no more to enjoy my day. I sleep instead.

My nightmare was me driving my Impala which I just sold, I was driving it fast, and hit a pole surrounding a phone both and bam I left my body and was looking for my car, I was dead. It was strange getting lost as a soul.


May 22nd, 2008 Thursday 12:21 PM

Well, I was in a dog fight with small planes batteling out and before that I was trying to buy coke with a friend, Aaron, strange dream.


May 23rd, 2008 Friday 5:43 AM

Fake Land, I was in this place we call Fake Land with other people, like the matrix, I want to go back to sleep and dream again. The Food was great like a Buffee everywhere and people where strange, it was so fucking real, I can't explain it to well, but the city was capped like a studio.

3:07 PM I failed to get back to fake land.


May 27th, 2008 8:49 AM

Well I had a dream of cockroaches living in my house, pretty sick dream, I felt them stilling crap on my ass. And then my deck which I built in 2003 all torn to peices. That was the most scarious dream I had.

Not being able to fix my deck. And then me going back to school as a High School Diploma which i have.


May 29th, 2008 5:53 AM

Money in cash being ripped off from me by a fag in downtown. I was going with my uncle Kirk and my dad to the Seahaws game.


June 1st, 2008 Sunday 2:33PM

I was selling my house and moving to another, it was strange dream because I have no idea of the blood market.


June 2nd, 2008 Monday 2:51 PM

Well, I was in downtown when a nuke when off, I was protected with this speical suit. But others where not and died including my entire family. Then I was in fakeland again, raising around railroad tracks to find my way through. Then I was in control of a small robot which had a nuke inside it to launch.


June 3rd, 2008 Tuesday Space game

I was in a building studing the new star and the old star, and it was getting hotter on Earth. I quickly preyed by singing a song that was ancient and the star that was a fake star vanished, but then nuclear bombs from Russia and America started dropping on the cities and then the bulding I was in, and then I woke up at around 9 AM, I quicky made a smoke and ate my pills with water and went to bed, My sleep went to 2 PM and it was over with a gun show and really strange nightmare. I was with gangmembers.


June 6th, 2008 Friday 12:23 PM

I was in a niegborhood and still upset that Burien Bark choose a new person to do their web site instead of me. Then I woke up.

This one was a weird dream of me full of people in a truck and having the truck be submerged of water in some ditch like in California. Then me meeting a naval dude and not being able to solute him and he getting mad at me and punching me, but I didn't feel it. Then the tide was low and the water recessed and me getting the truck out of harms way and I woke up!


June 8th, 2008 Sunday 3:35 PM

Well, I woke up at 8 ish am and had a nightmare of me scoring crack and getting home to alcohol. Strange dream I went back to bed after smoke and I forgot what I was dreaming about.


June 12th, 2008 Thursday 2:53 PM

I was in space not breathing and hungry. A strange environment. Tue cargo bays and I was out of air, but then I was fine and eating food. It was a strang.


June 16th, 2008 Monday 8:19 AM

I took my neckles off with the cross.

I was feeling dishonest. PROD_SET MPEXL_ program at Expeditors project to save the HP3000 systems was my dream the disk space. Then someone showing my car which was a poor car and how I was a crack head. I think I need to go bowling. It was a strange dream, me saving disk space, which I use to do. DTW Detroit was the city and the branches above that city.


June 24th, 2008 Tuesday 1:00 PM

I was in a big boat, a house boat and I woke up after not seeing my family, I was a kid a small kid learning how to swim. The fear of water a little bit


June 25th, 2008 Wendesday 9:48 AM

A nightmare with me running around security and using a machine gun that didn't kill but shocked people in the future. And then I woke up just before the security guards told me that I am not going to write anymore.


June 26th, 2008 Thursday 11:30 AM

Very Strange Dream! I was in the Earth and life was going to a contient with a water world. Fake Land I think. I was in Seattle and then it was nuked in the radiation killed every body, and I was alive but my soul was traveling and I missed every thing with my kids growing up, and all I cared about was sex with another woman, Angelina.


June 29th, 2008 Sunday 12:30 PM

I had a bunch of dreams after I pigged out at this Chinese food restaurant in White Center, but the last dream I had was me punishing Liam, my son for scratching a car with sand. I hit him so hard I woke up, and I felt bad. It's about 89 degrees in the top portion of my house where my bed is.


June 30th, 2008 Monday 4:36 AM

A dream of getting fired but getting a check from Hong Kong worth over $15,000 and massaging Kim in North Korea, his back. I think we are friends! With this special oil, and I woke up to write this dream or nightmare.

8:08 AM my cousin stole my car and left me inside it and beet me up, and was smoking crack, it's fucked up nightmare dream. I want to go back to sleep after this smoke and dream a better dream.


July 8th, 2008 Tuesday 7:15 AM

Fractions, and stealing from the owners of my Grand Fathers house that he built was a strange dream, I woke up early and thought that my Grandfather was feeling with me the coffee. This nightmare or dream was so real, that I thought I did this. My grandfathers house was basically stolen by rich fucking people, the Knowles's. During the dream before I woke up, I met the owner of my Grandfathers house. And the house was better then what my Grandfather did when He built it, but fucking strange not like what he built and it's grundge that the Packard's have to this date. Rich people are mean and pathetic.


July 13th, 2008 Sunday 8:06 AM

Protecting Liam from being robbed by vandals. College Money was gone, and crack heads took it, and I woke up with this nightmare. Kill Crack heads who steal, they diserve to be smoked and I own their souls those fuckers don't need to servive at all, I smoke a cigarette with my right hand to kill their souls.


July 14th, 2008 Monday 5:12 AM

Lotto tickets being purchased in my dream, 5 43 65 7 3. Then I went back to bed and dreamed some more and woke up at 12:10 PM and forgot what I was dreaming about.


July 15th, 2008 Tuesday 10:06 AM

This is a strange dream, me with a jaw broken and tooth missing, then when I woke up, my son lost a tooth, naturally. But the dream included my cousines who beat the shit out of me Ryan and Tony, and their dad, my uncle Gordy. They beat the shit of of me over and over why?


July 22nd, 2008 Tuesday 2008 12:17 PM

Having sex with aliens. Blue stuff coming off when they talked to each other and the aliens were fighting with each other it was a strange dream. My jaw hearts ever since my last dream occurred on the 15th. I was in some ship that was blue and gooey, and we witnessed nuclear bombs blowing up, but I woke after having sex with an alien.


July 23rd, 2008 Wednesday "Helicopter Crash" 4:45 AM

I was in my dad's pool explaining it how is is heated and all of sodden a helicopter crashes and the blade hit's me and I die and wake up at 4:45 AM, strange dream! I smelled my teeth being blown away from my jaw as the blade takes my life in this warm pool.


July 24th, 2008 Thursday 5:30 AM

I was in a strange place in a millitary going through a fence and having a duty to grab a tree and hicking it back to Congress telling them to prey for the national "I pledge to the Uniteted States ..." and woke up.

9:20 Troy woke me up with my cell phone but this dream was strange, I was dead and being spirit looking at my house and crack heads where in it.


July 25th, Friday 6:55 AM

I was in Japan with a strange evironment after a bad earth quake hit Seattle. We had guns with the people I was with.


August 6th, 2008 Wednesday 12:18 PM

Well I was at Marry's old apartment and we moved stuff, and something belonged to that house, a set a speakers and a router. When we came back, Marry and Chris were fighting and then I woke up from this strange dream.


August 7th, 2008 Thursday 1:19 PM

Well I was in New York in the future trying to find my way back to the airport when all of suddon a flight hit a building and went into the water, it was strange nightmare, then I woke up at about 6 AM and went back to bed and found myself in Seattle with a missing match of shoes in floating tube around my body and police renting from me, pretty strange dream.


August 8th, 2008 Friday 12:15 PM

It was 1992 and I met my future wife in Japan it was Yukiko and I impressed her, but I woke up in 2008. We in a nightclub and I spoke Nihongo or Japanease. But before that I was in some future trip where my best friend Ryan had some car that was like a four wheel truck but it was strange as it disconnected from the bed, and then there was his sister who was had two kids half Mexican and I was helping them with their homework.


August 10th, 2008 Sunday 5:57 AM

I was going to work when I started coughing a chair and film, it was disgusting. It was Expeditors it was different, it was fucking real in this dream of coughing. I was hired back and I caughed and died coughing, the bus I was in was skipping stops so I can get to the hospital but I woke up and wrote this.

(I think I talk to the dead, someone died, important person)


August 13th, 2008 Wednesday

8:54 am

I was registrating for school and a nightmare came through.


August 15th, 2008 Friday 3:05 PM

I slept for a long time in this dream where I was doing crack cocaine, it was weird and made me feel bad after I woke up and saw the time. It was very fucking bad, I lost all the money and the cocaine, and I woke up in this dream and found a crack pipe inside the dream, and I then woke up again to reality and it was just a nightmare dream.


August 25th, 2008 Monday 6:42 AM

Me with my white pick up truck scoring crack, ickey nithmare. Getting all high, and wrapping two hundred in my wrist attaching a watch and picking someone up at a bar, like working as a CIA agent.

12:27 PM

I went back to bed and dreamed of my family watching people fish, and we got some strange fish, Crab, tortetes and big squid. It was strange, and then I woke up.


August 27th, 2008 Wednesday 7:21 AM

Nuclear combat with our by state to state, coming back home after it and seeing nothing and finding nothing, but a strange camera which I connected it to a system of channels and made sure it worked for porno. Then there was a gang of people that appreciated me for being smart of connecting back our country. It was strange nightmare.

12:56 PM Another dream that was strange, me driving a car to get drugs, like Crack, but not touching it, and then my art work being displayed in a house of crack. It was strange. I think Danny Z was evolved.


September 1st, 2008 Monday 12:18 PM

I was dreaming about a job at Expeditors as night ops and having to call someone for the Edigen system. Strange dream.


September 2nd 2008 Tuesday 3:34 PM

There was an accident on Olson Hill and I witnessed it but my cell phone failed and I broke it.


September 14th, 2008 Sunday 12:22 PM

Well I slept and didn't log all my nighmares from moms house, which was a lot, and I dreamed of being awake which I'm doing right now, Kind of weird.


September 16th, 2008 Tuesday 8:09 AM

I was sleeping in my old house on West Seattle sleeping with Alex my old girlfriend, older then me but very hot and well she is dead, but not in this dream.


September 18th, 2008 Thursday 10:17 AM

I was being recruted into the Navy and I was in a ship seeing the world.


September 26th, 2008 Friday 11:33 AM

I woke up around 10:30 AM and I was dreaming about seeing a laywer and my two kids made a mess and I ended up picking up a glass bottle and the chunks of glass and throwing it away. It was strange dream.


September 29th, 2008 Monday 1:00PM

I went to bed around 2 AM so about 10 to 11 hours of sleep. I dreamt about a server that I built that was used for the military and it failed, and I couldn't get in touch with it and nuclear bombs where hitting cities and countries and I woke up thinking it was real until I smoked a cigarettes.


October 4th, 2008 Saturday 11:30 AM

So I woke up at 10 AM with a nightmare that I couldn't remember and then I went back to bed for and hour and half and woke up with a dream that I kind of remembered.

I was at work doing phone soliciting and there also was a boat that I lauched and didn't do a good job and it sank. And then I talked to my boss and he told me to wait underneath pine tree. It was strange.


October 14th, 2008 Tuesday 12:07 PM

I woke up at 11:30 AM with a nightmare. I was in a meeting with the senate and it was decided to split the United States into sections having Washington, Oregon, and California, and Idaho into a section, and then our great nation was nuking each other and I woke up and I was no longer underground, it was strange nightmare.


October 15th, 2008 Wednesday 10:56 AM

There was a hil with a huge beer can with two beer cans attached to it, and it was located in a hill where I was camped with my family. I took the huge beer can from it's place and the hill started falling. I was almost trapped in the dirt and sand, the people that owned the place came up towards me and wanted to fight. I woke up around 10:45 AM.


October 20th, 2008 Monday 12:23 PM

I was on a table meeting Kim from North Korea for Lunch, then I woke up from this strange dream and I smoked a cigarette and then I dreamed about being trapped in an Ice cold planet and I figured out how to get out of there buy praying on these steps that turned out to be small pentagons. Then I woke up, and then I dreamed more and this time it was very strange, I was in a bus going to somewhere not prison, and the bus picked up some ex prisoners and people where scarred but not me, and then the bus stopped in the desert and had problems so the prisoners took off from the bus after taking all the water and food. I was pissed off and ended up helping others in the bus and chassed after them. There where weird things happening like computers, old ones and being able to boot them and finding keys to open up food stores.


October 22nd, 2008 Wednesday 6:59 AM

I was golfing with my body and all of a sudden I was switched, like my soul or something. It was very strange, I was done golfing and hit the range and I was hiting my soul and body and there it was, and I woke up.


October 26th, 2008 Sunday "two nuke dreams"

Two dreams. First one was me going to school and figuring out that a terroist cell put a bomb in a locker number 5038 and I was away from the area before it got nuked.

Then the second dream was with me and my friend Ryan going to work and putting tapes into machines to for backups, and I was new but Ryan was there for a bit longer and was training me. I road with him to differnent locatins were the servers were located and a tree fell down. Ryan was almost stuck ridding a tree. It was strange. Then I woke up and grabbed some coffee and took a shit with a cigerette 11:06 AM


October 29th, 2008 Wednesday "my old house in Juneau street"

Three dreams 6 AM 7:30 AM and 12:06 PM one was a sexual content with Gia, and two other ones were me in a house that I grew up in that has a view of sunset over the water in West Seattle, Juneu street with huge hill to ski on when it snows. I miss that house, and in this dream I am suppose to sell my current house and deal with the transaction. It was a strange dream then I woke up and ended up peeling my covered Spantex deck. It failed to seal! I have about a little over 4 gallons left and I need to do a good job but the deck is wet and it wont stick to it.


October 30th, 2008 "The attick"

I woke up at 6:30 AM and went back to bed and woke up around 11:50 AM and I dreamed in that time about my house and finding things in the attick. I was removing the false ceiling and then I broke through the roof and made a mistake and there was snow on the roof, and it was coming into my house, and then I woke up.


October 31st, 2008 Friday "A big boat and the locks"

I was driving a boat accross the ocean and then I had to prepare the boat for the locks. My father and sister and brother were with me and my sister wanted to drive the boat, my dad who's owned the boat told me that he doesn't care who drives the boat but don't fuck it up, so I took the responsability and then I woke up. And in my head I was hearing a song, "ground control to major thomas"


November 1st, Saturaday 2008 "Past segments of live and movies"

Three dreams, I was being smugled out of a country in a barge with drugs, but then I woke up around 6 am and dreamed about nuclear attack in the US and I was searching for the bomb area with my family, then I woke up just when the light occured. Then the third dream I was at my Grampa's house and Trina was crying because she lost her job, and then I was at my aunts house and my uncle had a new truck and then they gave me a mopad to play with, it was strange.


November 3rd, 2008 Monday "Outer Space"

I was in hazmat suit and couldn't figure out the setting for it. Then I woke up, but I was in a room with a bed and I thought I was in outer space. 9:57 AM


November 7th, Friday 2008 "guilt"

I had many dreams as I'm sick and just went to bed the whole day at 2:23 PM I woke with this guilt thing. In my dream I was smoking crack with Keath and went back home and my wife checked my wallet and there was no money in it. Then I woke up and felt the guilt. It was very strange nightmare and I haven't smoked crack since 2005 March.


November 11th, 2008 Tuesday "nuclear combat"

I woke up after going back to bed at 12:49 PM and this dream was strange. My dad and I survived a bomb attack and were ready to go back home but the land was destroyed. My wife and kids were gone and Homeland Security allowed us to return to our homes.

My house that I owned with the kids and my wife was standing and labled with a cross and symbols which I don't under stand, there was no power but I grabbed stuff like pictures and few toys that my son and daugher enjoyed when they were young. Then a security guard gave me a locking device for my things and I woke up.


December 3rd, 2008 Wednesday "Two homes"

I was in this strange dream about two homes I owned and having to figure out how to pay the mortgage. One home was were my kids and wife lived and then the other one was a fucked up home with my mother living in it and crack heads destroying it. My mother wasn't into that crack but then I woke up at 2:00 PM today with a urge to smoke a cigarette and sit on the shitter thinking about all the bills I have to pay and the mortagage.


April 7th, 2009 Tuesday "More nightmares of Expeditors"

I had a nightmare about working on the bottom floor of the Expeditors building redoing Night Operations and it scarred me. I was being trained to answer the phone and baby-sit mainframes then I woke up.

I had many strange dreams between December 3rd 2008 to now, but where I located my computer it was too fucking cold to sit down and type. Plus I have no back support on my fucking peice of shit chair. Now it's a little bit wormer but I need a better fucking chair!


May 3rd, 2009 Sunday "Family helping for a Birthday!"

In this dream which I recalled after I woke up from Yukiko's fucking snoring and went back to sleep on the couch instead after moving Sara who was sleeping, it was a strange dream. I was my birthday, and family and friends came over and I was doing something else walking back home from College, people were strange in this dream, some weird fucker told me that he just watched the strangest porn ever where two girls were wearing huge strap-ons and raping a guy and then each other, it was fucking strange nightmare, I then woke up and Yukiko and the kids were awake so I went to my bed with no snoring and slept, then I rejoined the dream, and the party. My family though was gone doing something else and I noticed that my back yard and house was way sharp and clean, my dad or roommate cut down the fucking tree that blocks my view and then I woke up!


June 24th, 2009 Wednesday "I have been to busy to remember my dreams and write it down in text"


July 3rd, 2009 Friday "three dreams clashing"

Last night, I went to bed from the couch after drinking with my brother, 12 AM, and it took awhile to fall asleep. Sara my daughter, was sleeping in our bed, and then again snoring loudly, but eventually I slept and woke up at 8:20 AM was ready to put my dream on my fucking piece of shit computer but had problems with the OS.

What I remember was that I was in some school, not the united states, or maybe the US was attacked or some shit and trying to find classes, then the campus their was the United nations flag, and the communist flag of NK, it was strange, after that dream, I was trying to score marijuana in this one, and the dealer was like driving fast in my car or his? He or she grabbed money from my wallet and gave me more than I wanted and took more money too. Then I woke up!

I felt like when I did crack cocaine in this dream, but I haven't touched that shit for a long time! Over 4 and half years when I tried to kill myself.


August 12th, 2009 Wednesday "Stargate"

I had a strange dream about going to someone in my family's house and seeing a portal to another world in front of me, I think I have watched to much Stargate.


I had a dream yesterday and today, it was strange like I was older and there were two kids that I thought were mine and I was feeling evil thought for my wife who was playing sexually in front of me on the table with this dude. And before this kind of psychological deal, I was down stairs in the basement where Chris lives living. There was a meeting of people in my house, somewhat fussy, but I was unable to talk or control myself, and this I woke up at 8:20 AM 4/2/2010


4/3/2010. no dream, drank a lot on Friday, and now I’m stressed out more for School starts on Monday, and I have to go and pay for one class and have to make a 2.0 or better of pay $1900 back to FASA.. then I have to get the taxes done, and all that shit.. yaayay



4/17/2010 Saturday. 11:50 AM I had a dream right after I woke up about being around snow, and driving back from somewhere, it must be around late Winter or early Spring as there is snow on certain spots, like I was looking at the Church on Roxbury named Son something. Then I remember talking to someone who had a stick made of metal or carbon with my life line. Then marked from 0 to when I die and all the things I have done through my life, the end pretty much I think is when I am in my late 70s.






I had a dream just before I woke up at 11:06 AM today. Me organizing an office like deal and the stress of not being around to answer the phone for support call like when I worked at Expeditors. I remember like batteries for a UPS like size D but these are labeled G size. I remember I was like working for some company and then got fired or maybe I fired someone and I was the owner? Made me feel ill for not working like I am currently.







08:11 AM


Woke up at 7:20 AM or what my alarm clock read and Yukiko failed to wake up and I yelled at her or maybe it was a dream. In the dream I knocked over a pen and paper that was on top of my bible then the pen one of those multi color ones was failing and I had to write down something before I forgot it. Then I woke up in my dream mad for not being able to write with a pen my log for sleeping and amount of seroquel that I promised my doctor to keep track of. Strange dream, I asked Yukiko if I was yelling. She said no and the kids said no also and Sara was curious of what I was dreaming. I can’t believe it, my dream that was very real to me. I told Sara I was in hell.

Before writing this, I asked if I was yelling and Yukiko and the kids said no, I wanted my first cigarettes as I failed to finish my last two that was logged on my sheet of paper I started a log from August 22 of 2009.  I put a -2 for yesterday and in Roman numbers X V I which is not the total, just for me. And then 2 for today, plus I will have Yukiko make 15 for today so I hope I will have -5 for the next day but things happen.  

Now I kind of know what my project was for when I started completely drunk on 08-22-09.  At the time I logged just smokes, and I need to start putting it all in a spread sheet. 

I need to find my journal online somewhere to figure out myself! 

I think I put it somewhere, as after my server broke about a year ago, I quit writing and now shit has happened, so I have a huge draft in OUTLOOK for making a continuous log of life since 04/18/2010.  

I yesterday, I went to a church study to become a catholic on Easter and I decided that is more important than anything for a while.  I might have a cancer thing growing near my chest, and 05/18/2010 I have go to the same hospital that I almost died, Swedish. 

Life is good I guess.  Trying to fix myself, or soul if it become positive for the results.  I guess this TMI.  I don't care, I need to log somewhere.






I was dreaming after I was able to sleep taking 300 mg of seroquel around 5 AM and using the TV as Radio as my fucking ass hole roommate Chris left a DVD playing and passed out. It played over and over the intro and his door was locked, I didn’t want to open it up and try to find my keys. Finally it stopped a few minutes before 5 AM and then I fell asleep. He is a fuck head!


Then Yukiko’s snoring woke me up. I guess regardless of how much I take of seroquel, Yukiko fatty snoring and Chris’s computer speakers bass have fucked me up, probably this is why I also just stopped school, no fucking sleep!


Back to the dream as It was strange, my uncle and my cousin Kim Knowles and her wife picked me up in the morning to do a Golf tournament. The Golf tournament cost $50,000 to be apart of it, and it was gamble and I guess asked them that I would like to do it all drunk the previous week. Kim is millionaire by blood; she didn’t have to work for it. My uncle made himself with no inheritance and paid the $50,000 with hardship. My son and I where picked up and I was using my shitty golf clubs. I did not have any shoes at all and was very hung over pissing off Kim and Kirk. There where to cars, Liam road with Kim and I road with Kirk. He was smoking pot and offered me some, then after we got to I5, he had to return back and was pissed off at me as we where going to be late for the meeting before tournament. We get there, maybe in Sequim or some other place. I get completely confused in this building where to go, and finally I see Kim. She is mad because Liam said the L word to her. She was very disappointed on the way I raised Liam. Yukiko was somewhere in this dream, with Sara. Maybe in Nagasaki, I did not feel her coldness or worm.


I felt in this dream a little paranoid for the words my son say’s and what he is fried on because of my situation with my renters. I’m scared about what $50,000 means, like foretelling me by God or whoever can talk to you in your dreams. It’s strange, but I really need to work on my family and at the same time, my house, and then write my novel and complete it. Once done, I will do my pre-calc get a AA and get a job or keep writing. That is what this dream kind of told me. Kirk told me on the phone last Sunday that I should do something like write my memoirs on a novel.







I was hanging out with a Middle Eastern girl and taking pictures of chaos with the voting both of her government. I was shouted out as I was pretending that I was taking a panorama picture of the land and the sun set. Then we took off somewhere. She was very beautiful even with her hair covered. We were stopped and searched; I was busy moving the pictures to other folders that I took, plus the stop. I did not have service at all, I was jailed and then I woke up.


I just watched a movie, “ Neda Agha - Soltan”




Friday, June 25, 2010

Woke up around 11 AM and had a dream of seeing my dad and smoking him out via bus. Afterwards we go by bus to his home, and I notice that they are checking everyone for probably bombs so I ditch my pipe and smoke. My dad didn’t do it as he don’t give a fuck, he’s too old. I’m like in my 50’s. Then I go back in time or something and my dad and I drank a beer in a parking lot, we are waiting for him or something or somebody else, and I’m waiting by myself in the parking lot, and some kid parks near my dads car and accidentally opens his door very hard and it dings the passenger side door hard. I check it out and the door can’t even close, so I communicate with the young male driver and try to get more information, so I take my Samsung piece of shit cell phone and try to take pictures of the car and him, but the phone is to slow to take a picture and then I wake up!


Now I’m typing and remembering in the bus going with my dad who wanted some pot, I go back into the bus and grab my pipe from the trash I threw it in.


I think this is the near future of terrorism in America, when we fall to the Islam and after the Muslim world regains into the like the old Ottomans empire!


10/30/2010 - Saturday ‘ last Soccer Game for Holy Family”



DREAM: Railroad, Japan, going with Yukiko losing the passports for the kids, them being left me going home by myself, freaky ..





11-13-2010 Saturday


Woke up early in the morning where I now sleep on the small couch a nightmare. I was being hunted and the humans like me were also being hunted, there where like good and bad aliens hunting us, like predator and alien fucking things. I washed both movies, but not the new one released I believe in this year. This nightmare made me feel lonely and so I moved myself into to my bedroom where Yukiko and Sara were sleeping. I just carefully moved Sara so I can get underneath the worm bedding. Sara moved I think to her own room, as there is no room for all three of us as Yukiko almost takes 1 and 1/3 of a person.


I then started dreaming and it was a somewhat sad dream like I was older than I am now, and either it was me as the father or son or my son as a father and well, it was a house where I was being visted and I did not see Yukiko so either it’s in the future when the kids graduate and have their own lifes and Yukiko left me or I left her and but I was talking or be talked to by my father or son commenting about the woodstove, and then this strange woodstove made completely out of thick fireproof class so you can see the whole fire, and was trying to find out were the stove pipe was going to, but it was disconnected and the smoke was going into the house, but traveling fast to a pump ejecting the smoke out side which didn’t make any since. I felt sad about life and how quick it goes talking to my dad or my son and regretting the moments in my life how I drank and ignored the truths of my own kids and wife, and how much I should have done something rather watch a TV.


Then I woke at 10:30 AM. …


11/18/2010 Thursday @ 8:54 AM

Woke up from a nightmare after 4 hours of sleep and in the nightmare I was shot in the head.


First portion of the nightmare was having a caucus in my house for the Catch Potatoe Party I think or the democrats, but Palin was running for 2012 president and I did not want her to win and carry the football, as women do not play football for my argument.


Second portion of the dream was that my house now was 4 people upstairs, maybe another person a baby or a family member, then basement of 5 people, 1 person less than the foreclosed home next to us with 11 Vietnamese people who bought the home, and then arguing with the neighbors about taxes and how they got fucked, and I was suppose to help them out because I legally smoke pot and have a job with the city or something, a pencil pushing job.


Third portion was the freakiest was at night my family or portion of my immediate family we just finished swimming or something where we require a shower, I was the only person in that shower and some like Asian or Mexican kids, three of them jump me in the shower, there is like a hole in a busted up building where they came from with plastic covering the hole and so I am in the shower and quickly stop and try to get to my cloths as I hear laughter and something about killing a white boy. As I am naked and see and hear these fuckers, my adrenalin is pumping and one of these fucks was ready to hurt me, so I grabbed him by his neck and pushed his head onto a bench next to the shower where you change your cloths. I did it over and over to where I felt brain matter and blood on my face and body and my hand. The other two guys I think try to attack me or I get hit in the head or something has I think Yukiko picks me up from a hospital or jail with one of our kids, and I see some gangster mother fucker looking RB rapper fuckers, black I think. They are harassing us and it is three. I tell Yukiko and either Sara or Liam to run and get into the car, and I confront the first fuck and put him into the ground, the second fucker says, “I’m going to rape your wife and kill your kids” “You fucking racist white boy” and I run to attack him or something, either way I get shot I think on my right side of my body, Yukiko is calling I think 911 crying and either Sara or Liam are crying as I am down bleeding, it didn’t hurt I guess. Kind of felt like the past car accident when our Subaru was killed when Yukiko was driving 12/31/2007 Raful home. Sara’s baby seat was not buckled up and she was in the back, and I was hit on the head kind of seeing stars. The pain now was hitting a bit until, I woke up when one of these black or Mexican gangster looking guys I believe shot me the second time in the head, ending my life.


I then woke up, rolled a smoke and got coffee and mumbled the nightmare to Yukiko outside, and how real this nightmare felt, and planed to do more work today instead of sleeping as I only have had 4 hours of sleep.


Charles Packard


03/10/2011 Thursday rotten meat


I fell asleep on the couch after eating a very expensive Toshi teriyaki for dinner. I woke up right now at 7:10AM and had a strange nightmare of coming home from a hospital and my wife and Chizu running my household without me and everything is all fucked. Like my wife and Chizu bought some huge amount of meet with of course my money, and things of mine where gone. Especially my savings and the house was not taken care of, and some shit head dumb as friends tried to help my wife a while I was in the hospital. My car or Truck was taken and the meet which was going bad, was put my truck and the truck was moved? Some weird dream. And after that strange electric activity in my mind, I remember of me going back to work at the 1 st floor of where Operations was located and seeing Bruce Reynolds and a bunch of new people and I was supposed to be returning back to work from my stroke but was given a different task, that was meaningless. I ended up not returning back to work or something in this strange environment. I woke up with anxiety and the smell of fresh coffee. I grabbed some and tried to take a shit. It’s now 7:24 AM.. All I can remember from the electronically waves of my brain from when I was sleeping.


03/19/2011 Saturday “psychosis night mare from 2007 at this time in jail”


I woke up like and grabbed a small cup of left over coffee and made a smoke. 7:30 AM went to sleep around 2 AM—and dreamt of a dream or sleep walking mode in Jail.. a redo I guess.


So, I was feeling a vessel trying to help people trapped in a bus or a train and became a hero. Then there was something for another vessel I felt of someone freaking out that he set off a something that beeped like my smoke detectors in my house that go off every time Yukiko cooks with oil, making a good fried food. Then this vessel or human or soul before they pass so scarred. I remember from this psychosis nightmare I woke up this morning to the point of driving very fast to a hospital to get out of harm’s way knowing that the device that beeped was the end of line for my life. I then remember just I think two souls and parts of their life before they died I think.


In 2007, In King County were I did remembered later when I was at Harbor view and then treated with massive shot of Risperidone, my reality which I guess on Earth. Just after all this, well I smelled my left hand and if smelt like good, (THE HALF OF THE BODY USES THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE BRAIN the GOD SIDE as if you don’t have a left right lobe, your dead) and then the right side a kind of taste in the smelling of metallic tingling kind of strange smell. I remember this 3 years ago when I was trying to figure all this shit out. Well, I went back to school later after fixing my credit and shit, and that smell and strange deal I thought was just crazy.


NOW I THINK IT WAS A SIGN. What do I do. I think I was put here for some reason. Maybe I’m suppose to allow the souls to heal with me and pass to heaven, hell, or purgatory on the left side hand and the right side is the spirit which is the sin good and bad that a person builds in their lives the right hand that I think are the smell of radioactive spirits passing to me and I’m getting I think now radiated a bit for each passing spirit. I believe when an average person dies, the hospital bed loses about 22 grams. I think that stuff is the good and bad sins or something other word to explain. What the fuck am I.


Why did mom not die after she electrocuted herself touching a 240 volt plug cleaning the stove in the house in Beacon Hill that she owned before meeting my dad. My dad remembered her hair stood up and well, I was shocked as I was in her tummy. Does possibility that my soul got extra charged from the 240 V electricity that was part of being made at the time in 1976, Hanford nuclear reactor!!!


I’m so scarred what am I suppose to do, suffer with this condition until I die this pshyosis. That is why I drink. Now it’s been 2.5 week now sober.


June 23, 2012


I had a dream but forgot it as I forgot that I kept a dream capture, I had a few strange dreams since the last time I dreamed blogged… will keep track better in the future. Apparently this is all I have I will find more of this dream tracking. ,



July 19, 2012 Dream at Expeditors or some other building.


Had a strange dream, like the reality of when I was working at Expeditors little over eight years ago, dressed up and the fear of losing my job that I had all the time keeping me alert and dedicated for my jobs. I woke up at 7 AM scared, I passed out around 2am.


This dream of fear of losing my job was the empathy I have for Rafael my roommate who lost his job, and Jasson Baker who got fired later on and visisted me on Monday, the 16hth of July 19, 2012.


July 28 th, 2012 DREAM like with the cast of LOST and Keith Baker


Apparently I am in a place where the people are like the show LOST and with Keith Baker. My house is vacant and family is deported or basically gone from the home. I am stuck somewhere and I hear directly the Keith Baker after he walks into the house or camp tent that I am held like a prisoner. He is there to kill me and has already taken everything I own and I wake up and have a smoke around 6 AM, try to get back to sleep after and watch the movie “The Thing” 2011 netflix.


8/3/2012 Friday “skiing trip”


Woke up around 6 AM after 9 PM in my dream happened. Apparently Yukiko, and the kids and I were skiing at possibly Big White or Stevens, and only a few runs where open. I lost my poles, but before that I went off the trail onto some logs, which was scary for the family. Yukiko was skiing really well. I am not sure but I think there is a different iteration of earth and my wife and kids and a better place.


9/13/2012. Thursday “Nate calling the police lying like Elki”


Woke up today at 6:11 AM. I woke up with a serious nightmare of me being in situation where the police put me down for a 911 call from Nate Krebs. He was telling them that I something.. but I woke up and I was drunk in the dream.


After woke up I went to bed aftera stroke and woke up around 9:11 AM. I called Comcast.. for a change of the deal and how to pay my bill etc.. as Nate is getting free internet and he works! I don’t. So.. I then called Jasson thanks him for telling the truth, I then called the legal clinic help for our wasted trip to Kent supporier cort house the other day. Rafeale called, and told me that the apartment next to them burn down… so I took a shower and am going to call him right now at 12:30 PM to get out and eat and get my hair cut.. see ya.


9/21/12 Friday “The submarine like home”


My dream today that I can remember is very disturbing. I felt at the end loss for being a bad parent, like I was locked up for years. The home was underground but above the home was a pool. My kids where young and then I remember 15 years they where old and grown up. I missed the chance in their lives.. I was a foreigner to the home. I come back to the home and I find a safe with weapons in it, toys RC cars old ones, and stereo equipment. I was not really safe before I entered the home. I think it was my son, who went down a shoot and un flooded the home while it was full of water. He dived down and it was security feature for hiding this place. We talked I woke up about 8:12 AM… but before I woke up, my son gave me a hug in my bedroom in reality and said “Good buy dad” and went to school.


I felt like I lost time missing the good and bad for raising my kids. I guess I have to rescind for the legal work I have to do for House Authority for this Nate person, and I want him out of my house and Chris off my land so I can raise my kids proper and fix my house and find a job after I finish my one class.

10/8/2012 Monday 7:49 AM “School with Liam”


I had a strange dream where I was with Liam going to his school, and complaining about the material that he was being taught in school. I then saw him near sand and water the ocean and me in a new house that didn’t have quit a much of a view as the house we live in currently and missing that house of hell, the one I am in now. I woke up with Lola barking, and the French door was open, I made a smoke and coughed it outside, then tried to get more sleep.


10/11/2012 Thursday 8:42 AM “Hardi board mess”


I woke up after a dream of my house being a school, I had to take a shower but could not due to the fact that kids needed to use the bathroom, my next door neighbor north of me has a car rush to her back yard and me unloading my truck madly. I was unloading the hardi board and it was like a wet rug and I was pissed off because it rained. I woke up and now going to work on my house.


10/17/12 Wednesday 9:48 AM “to many dreams”


I had a few beers the day before for the 2 nd presidential debate. Went to bed after fucking my wife hard, and she was happy and I woke up after a strain of strange dreams. One of them was me in a house that on the top floor was a small home, but then the basement had 15 feet clearance very strange. I am having a problem trying to remember all the other weird uncanny stuff later.


11/2/2012 Friday “Wing Luke”


First set of dream stuff I remember was taking a hike with my kids and wife to Mt. Rainer and the complaining of my wife but my kids keeping up with me, we lost her and didn’t care. I remember seeing woman that are way more attractive and then a man that was naked when I left my wife with my kids. and then I felt sorry for her and tried to hike back down after looking at a view from the top and was unable to find her.


Then I was invited to a class reunion and was unable to figure out what class I was invited too for the party. I was outside of the building hanging out with the servers and watching people I don’t really remember and not sure what school I was in any way until this black man came over to me and said, “You are Charlie?” And I asked him” how do you know who I am?” And my wife was in the building as I was unable to go into it for I felt a huge loss and since I was a loser on Social Security, my kids grown up, I wanted to just to die. He said, don’t you remember Wing Luke Elementary, and he was a black kid who wanted to be my friend but was at that time a race thing between the mixed bussing, but he hung up with me until I woke at 10 AM.


11/12/2012 Monday “Military Funeral” 5:56 AM


I was with my dad trying to go from my grandpa and grandmas house in Whidbey Island the original house and then the old house which was oscillating from old to rebuild and I was sleeping with my grandpa, in his bed as there was only one bed and my grandpa’s ghost was swimming like in the air. I had to wake up the next day for a funeral and was called by the president to bring a PA unit and pick up a body. My father picked me up and I was called by Russell, a fellow who helped me many years ago to deal with my stroke to pick up a body, a military personal that the President on the phone called me to do the day before.


We go to the funereal home on Whidbey Island and have to go back to my Grandpa’s house to get the parts for the PA which I forgot and got lost. We get back to the funeral home and people come over but it was not for the body we picked up. We sat at the funeral home during the process, and was told by someone that the power and electronic gadgets where affected by the nuclear blast. I was confused because I was not aware of a blast or reality of the surroundings near the Peugeot Sound.


I was dead I thought in my sleep and this was hell, Then I woke up choking made a smoke after seeing my son sleeping in the couch with Lola our family dog and realized that this dream was worth writing down, and did so.


The feeling of driving as a passenger and the street I use to play with Trina in Useless Bay, and the house that changed from the original single story home to the new second story home was like real as in real life the house was rebuilt. The view of Seattle from the cliff was so real, kind of freaky, as Obama calling me to pick up a body on the local line and this date, Veteran’s day! Weird, so I had to share it.


Maybe it was federally the Veterans Day is for the 2012, observed this Monday? I wish I can have a real normal dream. I went outside this morning to make sure that the world was my world that I was born in and not a fake strange world which many of my dreams are. I really don’t want to go back to sleep but my son and wife and four dogs are sleeping, the new puppies are making squeaking like guinea noises.


I remember a dream that I had where I was with my mom and Jay in China Town eating and not getting fat, all the Chinese and Japanese food everywhere, and the temperature at night was 80 degrees, and there was no sun. And my kids where never born, it was a strange and scary dream, like maybe a different iteration of some other universe. Maybe dreams are more than chaotic REM singnals with your brain, maybe more than god, maybe there are multiple universe and therefore more than one earth and more Charlie’s and other people, and maybe there was a nuclear blast in the sky that broke all the electronics in some other paralelle planet, but then again my brain is going very fast and I have to slow it down, and zombie myself into some sleep mode… and it’s all made up, but I have over


11/27/2012 “roof and tree”


I in this dream was readjusting my plumb tree with a rope while I overheard my next door neighbor screaming for help, but I only saw Eric the next door the previous next door neighbor. I thought it was very odd, plus I have a somewhat an affection for Angie who is our neighbor. She in the past was drunk and touchy me and felt me, bouncing off my stomach and almost touching my dick. I am married to women that as lost the love I had for her sexually. My wife is killing me by smoking, and I want to quit but she will continue smoking I know it, and it’s just sad. .


I told her I have a 12 gage shot gun and for some reason I went to the roof while others somehow climbed to my roof. They were a lot of people on my roof, I tried to climb, but the latter that I made was too close to the edge of the roof. There was snow on the roof and what my kids threw on the roof too. I saw a sweater yellow, a rib, and a ball. The snow was on the North East section of my roof. I ended waking up after yelling at the people with ice picks or whatever you use for mountain climbing. They were punching right through my new roof.



11/29/12 Thursday “crack” 6:30 AM


I am in Hawaii with my kids and my dad I think, at what I don’t know actually for I have never seen it, the Knowles’s home. There is a computer there and it resembles a system I use to own. I guess we all go to the beach and find out that end of the world from an asteroid is going to occur. The only way we can survive is to be in the air or on a mountain. Nobody knows the world is going to end, but I argue that the restaurant was too high for breakfast and for some reason we had to leave and the server let us go and would keep our food warm. We come back and she does, the breakfast like food we ate was good, but expensive. For four people it was very expensive.


Later we walk back to the house and I noticed that they have the same computer I built a long time ago, I noticed in the back there is a crack pipe after just wanting that drug. My dad is packing with Liam or maybe it’s Trina, not sure and I because of the bullshit complaining grab that pipe after taking the computer apart and noticing all the pictures and my MP3 stack, and actually I was cleaning the system up for them, and was thinking of taking the hard drive with me, but I take a hit of that pipe, and get high. I then take the pipe on the deck and find a twig to push the brillo at the end to get another hit, my dad comes to the deck and I throw the pipe far away into the bushes and I wake up.. weird.. I did watch Battleship the day before.


12/17/2012 Monday “More Crack”


In this dream I have it was two. One from 4 AM to 10:30 AM this morning to strange to remember, but I did the only thing I could do to get back to sleep, to see if I can have a better dream that is not full of drugs but this one was like I was in hell. My wife and kids gone, me in this house, but a different house, and best friend Ryan, then that Rafeal person a dope dealer, and me putting three packages of crap hidden. One package is just a little bit a pounder that I in the dream dropped all over the place I was examining it, and the second package was a package full of pipes, and the third one was a tape ruler that inside it, there was a package of cocaine. I then just before waking up, put all that cocaine into a test tube, and burned it with a lighter to make crack. I then woke up. These dreams are getting worse! Why?



12/19/12 WEDNESDAY “three night mares “


First was in Russia, Chernobyl like the movie I watched with my son, the Chernobyl diaries.


I woke up and had a smoke, then the second dream was that again, but different, and the third dream which I woke up around 9:30 AM was strange.


I was looking for a place to get my hair cut, and Yukiko and the kids went shopping while I was getting my hair done. Then it switched to an apartment that I was in or moved into but by myself without my kids and wife, and across the street was a party of kids, I read the address something 909. The party or some asshole kid was throwing rocks at my window like I did when I was a kid with other kids to this old lady that was crazy and yelled at the phone to Harry. It was strange. That kid came out and I fought and beat the shit out of him. I then woke up.


I never got my hair cut, apparently I was in a shop selling fish and other things, and the fish had no heads but where moving and being fed, very fucking strange dream.


12/20/2012 Thursday “Day before the end of the world”


I woke up after this night mare around 9:30 AM. First I was in my house and noticed that in my back yard below it East of my property was a hobo house, where these people a girl pregnant and a young kid where huddled into this god awful make up shelter, I kicked them out. The girl did not have her baby at this time and they sped away with a convertible Cadillac knocking over a mail box.


Then there was Chris who was living here but still not paying me rent and instead was smoking something similar to Crack cocaine. My kids and wife where gone in this dream.


Then there was me working at Expeditors doing something less than what I use to get paid for. I was late for work, and I was with my wife enjoying a weekend cleaning up our house. I was suppose to work on Sunday and was knocked down on pay. I then noticed how hard my job was and the headache it gave me for just talking to people on the phone. I was yelled at a lot. I then noticed it was Friday and I was suppose to go camping with the some kind of survival kit setup in the snow.


Chizu worked for the company too, and was a supervisor and did the job I was suppose to do, as I hunted for dry food and I was suppose to make a fire, then put it out then use 9/10 of some CRISCO cooking lard to make another fire and make food, or I get fired. I got into an argument with Chizu, and woke up.. strange dream.. .I believe. Maybe there is a something to it.




12/30/12 Sunday “Morphine dreams”


I was in a strange place, I think near Bellevue or maybe in Seattle, I was riding a bicycle after seeing Aaron Seifert who is a friend but more than a friend, as he wanted to be my lover or something. I am still married and have kids and I am at Debby’s house where it is all messed up like the times when I was younger seeing and hanging out with Jasson Baker. Getting there I had a busted car and I had GPS, my car is totally busted so like one of her boyfriend’s is fixing it, I think Criag or Mike. I ask for some coke, but nobody does that shit anymore.


I take off from their house on 520 I think after I get lost using my GPS which is mounted on my handle bars, I meat these hobo’s that offer me some roasted Rats or maybe it is squirrels not sure and give me direction to get back to Seattle. I wake up.


Had some coffee and a cigarette and then I think I am still dreaming so I go back to sleep in the worm bed with Lola.


Next dream was even strangers. I am in the house, Yukiko is cleaning something off the floor, the basements carpet is being fixed or replaced, and Nate wearing a Seahawks uniform appears in Chris’s old room. I can hear is voice and grab a baseball bat. I hit him but not hard, I told him to get the fuck out of my house, and he say’s I came here to apologize. He goes outside while I go up stairs and notice he is helping clean up the Subaru or whatever car we have, as we are ready for trip. Everything is happy hunky dory as it was very a strange dream. Yukiko is pissed off or has a face of no emotion like she has trained into the youth of Japanese kids. I am older and still have no job and neither does she.


1/3/2013 Wednesday “two dreams”


First one was I said the word Nigger in front of a bunch of people and a black cop chassed me into my house and was told by other cops to drop his gun, then the cops for some reason let my wife have the 9 millimeter weapon, I later took all the bullets out as it was dangerous having a loaded gun near my kids. For some reason I was or the world was ready for some huge event. I just watched prior to this dreams a movie named second earth, and in addition I took about 1.65 ml of morphine plus I 1/1/2013 I did $80 worth of meth and still hanging over from that.


2 nd dream was I am in the back yard which is full of wood, and Mexican mafia is over and someone who knew Nate had called him from my phone and I pushed redial, and didn’t talk on the phone at all. I was burning up my firewood and my back yard was a disaster with shit all over. I was older, my kids out of the house and just a few dogs left over, I woke up in the first dream around 7:30 AM and the second dream at 10:30 AM.


6/3/2013 Monday “Campers”


This dream was too real to the point that I woke up and looked at my drop off to see if people where camping. I can remember a single mom using my water and boldly not caring, a blond lady with a child, I saw the pool of water she filled up steaming. No camp fire so she somehow heated the water up for a bath. I saw two tents and then beyond those tents more tents.

And a like toilet of bags full of shit and garbage. I saw more tents beyond her tents and asked her kindly who is living beyond your tents, and told me none of your business. It was a strange to me and I woke up. But before I dreamt this small nightmare, I remember a tree house on the tree that started growing very fast just a few years, the poplar tree but the tree house was grown higher from where it originally was built.


Maybe this happened something to do with watching the movie Inception or it was something to do with just having sex with my wife.


6/22/2013 Saturday “Super Moon”


I was in America and the government crashed. Just like the movie I wasted the day before, the new RED DAWN.


The dream was like the movie.


I woke up, had sex with Yukiko, didn’t feel good and dreamed of being in a building all dressed up, and the floor was deep and I kept slipping down until I met this guy who turned out to be the CEO of Intec a company I thought in the dream was like the company in Office Space. He should me how to walk down the stairs. By using just your heal and toes.. arched. I woke up and my eyes were still like staring into nowhere.


8/27/2013 Tuesday “Grand Coulee Dam”


I was in a world with a Dam I thought it was the Grand Coulee Dam. I was with Yukiko and a bunch of comedians like the guy in Weeds and they were getting on with my wife and a bunch of Japanese guys and girls and my ring finger was still blank for the mistake I did on meth. But I was with Yukiko and she was with me. People where working on this property mowing the grass really fast. Before this portion of the dream I was dreaming in a world that was nuked, probably because I fell asleep after viewing a movie, “4:44 Last Day” which the world is ending and two people lovers sleep and die with the rest of the world after the Ozone layer breaks and they die. I can’t really remember much more than this.


9/15/2013 Sunday “Looking for my shoes in the past”


So I was in a accident or something and was sent back to 1973 where bus was cheaper and the planet was weird. I went to the creators of Expeditors at that time and tried to advise them, I was trying to advise to buy Google and Microsoft. It was strange, I tried to see my father, and aunt and uncle who where much younger, like I was older them at that time but freaked them out. Finally I was in a hospital like place that was comfortable and was looking for my shoes, I looked at my clock and I missed the bus. I woke up around 10 AM and the dream was placed at about 9:50 AM looking for my shoes.

11/14/2013 Thursday “RESIDENT EVIL”


This strange dream that lasted from 3 AM to 2 PM was like a movie, like resident evil, but there was no zombies, just death. Should have wrote the dream earlier to capture the detail.



11/27/2013 Wednesday “Meth and Calculus”

Got to get ready for a waiting at the DMV. Had a dream before I woke up, of someone using a Nintedo game, taking it apart and putting Meth in it, and packaging using screws that are not screwed up to alert the guards. Then a class walking along a shit covered hall way to a class. A cute girl doing Calculus and a class of dummies, and me saying “That’s Calculus” and talking to her, then I woke up.

11/28/2013 Thursday “Dad and Berlin”


Was in meth or crack house like environment and I escape with my Dad in a powered glider and we fly to Berlin which is destroyed. We find a bowling alley 5 stories high and Kirk calls me on my cellphone, I wake up at 7:55 AM.


11/29/2013 Friday “Lost in shit”


I’m dealing with drugs and addiction with Krocodile drug with others, and me just smoking methaphetatmine and dealing with chaos of bad decisions. I somewhat wake up at 1:30 PM on my birthday.


12/16/2013 Monday “In prison working”


So I was sleeping with two dreams, lucid ones where I am the main character. First one I forgot, but the second one me in a prison, where we were fixing something Brian and another guy to get the place working with AC, and then sections of this dream showing the area of escaping through a junk yard. Then being inside a building with mathematical equations written on the wall.


12/19/2013 Thursday “Lincoln Park”


I was in the Lincoln park watching my son’s game with a new coach where we were given a letter in the mail hand written worse handwriting then mine, and a picture of the new coach for Liam. I questioned it and complained about it, I brought my lap top and made servers doing other things than enjoying my son’s game. It was somewhat cold, like the early Spring weather. I took my shoes off and put someone elses shoes on, and I was then in an office like Expeditors and knew only one person from Night ops who didn’t want to let others know me. I was treated just like I treated Rafeal who walked past me and Ryan Hurst smoking cigarettes, a shit person. I woke up at 12 PM and realized that this is a lucid dream and not reality. Chris took off, the house was empty and my leg hurts.


12/26/2013 Thursday “G ride”


The lucid dream I was in the forest with Joey and I was asked to help complete a mission of moving a G Ride with B to a more secure spot from a it’s hot spot were police are already notified that a stolen car was being located. My truck was suppose to be used but I didn’t want to do it for the paranoia of being caught towing it. I was given or really shown a bag of crystal and I didn’t want to do the work so the bag was put away and we walked away from each other, Joey disappointed. I woke up, at 1:10 PM.

But before this part of the dream occurred I was in the bathroom taking a shit and noticed that the bathroom had a lap top like eye shadow kit that lit up and had an internet connection, the software and operating system. I was playing with this device and was noticing that the user packardce was logged in and was setup wrong without the password but had emails that confused why? I also noticed html files that were pornographic. I looked at them and they were not even close to what I liked to look at, very strange like telescoping and I was curious to who looked at this or even worse my daughter by chance was looking at this filth.


Very sick and distorted lucid dream, Christmas Eve was last time used crystal.

2/7/2014 Friday “Crack nightmare”


I woke up around 1 PM took pills at 2 AM, passed out I think around 4:30 AM, anyway, the effects of Serquel fully disabled me. I had a dream just waking up, in my room, I was waking up in this dream, and in this dream I fell asleep but I was smoking crack with the wrong pipe, not enough brilo I guess, and I am alone in bed, then I wake up and decided to move to the basement guest room to smoke the rest of my crack that was in a plastic from a cigarette package, two very large bolders and when I pass through the living room, Yukiko is with another man, and her spirit but not her on earth nor the kids know who I am there, I was a ghost smoking crack, a very cold environment, and it’s been like since 2005 since I touched that substance.


3/26/2014 “Russian invasion”


I was in this dream that I woke up at 10:41 PM and got to bed around 1 AM earlier, 9.5 hours of sleep, was in our country. We were like no longer the United States, but some puppet of Russia and China, there were rules, no freedom and it was nightmare as I seen my kids and other people with a fight still, somewhat like the movie, “Red Dawn”, I was a leader I believe of the resistance.


4/4/2014 “Helix”


It’s been sometime before I had a full night of sleep being on meth for over 16 days on and off from whatever dosage I decided t smoke through the bubble, last night I had a beer at home, and two at Ryan’s was shaking, and scarred I was going to die in bed, my body was cold, and and texted to Dezera, about my usage and Jeremy, Dez said sleep you fine, Jereamy hasn’t responded, maybe I didn’t get the right number but I woke up around 9 AM and was out about 9 PM so 12 hours, and I remember Helix the TV show I was into over two weeks ago, god damit I felt so sick in the morning, and smoked a bit more meth, and got better, I’m now a full fucking addict and it’s going to be hard to continue, especially without weed. And beer since I don’t drink that much anymore makes me want to puke.